Editing Before The Epilogue

This may well be a worthy time to provide an update. You may not even be interested. Put simply, laid out with honesty. I'm struggling. I'm not struggling to create. 'Struggling' may even be far too much of an exaggeration. I think I've reached a point where I'm confused. At this stage, I haven't been going back over what I've already written. I know the story and its structure so far. However, I think because I'm working on upwards of 80,000+ words. I'm worrying too much about how the book is going to read or at least how it will be read.

 Before, I wasn't concerning myself all too much with the structure. I was just writing. I think I'm now considering editing before I've even finished. It feels as if I'm jumping ahead. I'm not sure how I would identify that or avoid that other than to stay patient with it. That though is and remains frustrating. Placing too much pressure on myself will only have a negative outcome.

I may even be trying to cram too much into the story. I think it may be too long, even at this stage or some elements are borderline repetitious. Obviously I don't want that to be the case. I think as I can't necessarily sit down for long periods of time due to life, distractions and obvious procrastination that I've mentioned before. It does blur in the sense of what I have previously written. That whole snippets of sitting, writing and then gaps in time, even if it be 8 hours for sleep or work and commuting.

I've been reading up on structure and trying to apply that to the books and stories I love. I think that too is a bit of a mistake. I don't want to write something that isn't mine and thus far I haven't done that, which I'm more than happy with. So, I may avoid any formal acknowledgment of structure.I think the main problem is second guessing myself. The story will be exposed and the holes made bigger in the second draft/editing process. It could also be argued I'm more focused on the cleaning process. I'm not sure 'cleaning' is the right expression but trimming the fat. I am though thinking consciously about the editing more than I am the actual writing process and just letting it out, feeling the flow.

 

I'm half expecting to write probably around 120,000+ words. That isn't a hard and fast rule or an abrupt end. I think though I'm likely to write that many and then get it down to under 100,000 in the second draft. Again, no pressure on word counts. I just want to tell the story and have it include the elements that I keep creating and adding to the overall narrative. At times though, it feels a little like Christmas. Buying presents for family and friends and thinking, that's not enough. I'll go back into town and pick up just one more. That mentality of 'just one more' is the same thoughts I have with this story. Like, I'll add that. I can develop this, that and the other. Almost like a never ending story. Just without Falkor and his fluffy ways.

It is not my aim to have it appear episodic or appear as a series of short stories or scenes just pieced together. They obviously will fit and appear seamless. Again, think for too long and everything will begin to crumble. Even if that's purely in my mind.

The amount of notes, I'm taking. Legal pad with arrows and etchings that I'm not sure I can even comprehend now. It gets a little cluttered!

I think it is much more the case of avoiding or ignoring literary examination or academic analysis, deconstructing every element and just writing and allowing the story to tell itself. As I said, I've got to a point which is well into the second half of the story, if I can call it that but it may mean that I completely chop one element out and rewrite a section to make it one seamless session instead of splitting it up. It allows the introduction of more characters but I'm not sure I need more. I need to focus on the characters already written. I'm starting not to care at all about some characters so do I really need them?

In fact, is it even important to include or feel pressured by writing or changing the world. If it looks as if I'm deliberately pouring in unrealistic dialogue or astute concepts in a world where Dylan doesn't feel a part of, then surely that in itself will be an injustice to the story, to him. So much pressure, so many considerations. I need to stop trying to write like others and write like myself.

Surely, a reader will see right through obvious dashings of pretension. I'm not trying to provide some subversive, radical ideology - whereby I only understand the rules.

 

Thoughts

Thinking

Frustrations

Impatience

Bewilderment 

Confusion

Prognostication

 

All words that could easily describe where I am at the moment.

 

With that in mind. It's all part of the journey.

Until Next Time...

Do Good Things!