Self Publishing: Self Confidence or Impatience?

I think I, like many people; I almost even used 'writers' there, parenthetically speaking. It may well be one of those realms of reality conversations, as to whether I use 'writer' or merely hide behind the collective noun of 'people'. It doesn't seem to bother those that make use of furrowed fake smiles, the ones you'll never meet, tanned, toned and performing yoga on a white sandy beach. They themselves claiming to have produced a story never penned, living off a ten-year-old advance whilst holding down a part time job. 

If you have been up all night, writing into the early hours of tomorrow’s world, is the only outcome for it to be read, enjoyed and/or ignored; can’t it just exist? The dilemma is delivered, socially distanced of course when you consider the amount of time spent writing. Time is money, life is short and other such idioms. The only interest you hold is in creating and now you’re having to spend all your time pushing your book to people who aren’t interested. Contacting countless literary agents, composing enigmatic and attractive author profiles. Doing your best to cram vaunted description into a perfectly considered synopsis. You owe it to yourself to capture the bored representatives' attention whilst they scatter dreams to the selected few. You’ve spent days with the Writers’ and Artists’ Handbook 2020, highlighting it like the Radio Times. These faceless individuals with the virtuous opinions, supported only by a job title, a degree in languages or the ability to read at speed. 

Pop quiz asshole: 

 Is self-publishing self-confidence or impatience? 

I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to watch minutes tick on by as I wait for a response. You have to then focus, not on punctuation but marketing. Marketing to agents, waving a soul for sale sign to publishers, jiggling printed pages to anyone ready to listen. Becoming that person you always promised to hate. Writing is fun, selling is the burden. If you were to present it as free, does it make your time and words fair less legitimate? Presumably then, you can’t call yourself a writer. But to be a writer, you must write. Therefore, you’re a writer. If you were to pre-fix writer with professional, then you’re making money. We all need to live; it depends upon your measurement of living. Do you need Netflix Premium, ultra-HD everywhere, across four devices or can you make do with Freeview? When have you got time to watch TV anyway? You should be reading; you definitely should be writing!

Some sacrifices are worth it. Scared by your ego, lost in self-deprecation and confused further by self-publishing. Prefix, suffix and Nikki Sixx. You absorb yourself with detritus vocabulary. None of it makes sense because attempts at impressing, leave you standing by the mantel piece, supping on a watered down old fashioned, talking to your own reflection as a party for the successful leaves you alienated and depressed. 

 

It could be that all the professional silence from those you're sharing your words with are sparing you from embarrassment. They’re the professionals after all. They may not like your protagonist or the character Hazel on page 44. Keep on pushing, collect up all the rejections. One fine day, you’re gonna want me for your bookshelf. 

You may even create your own story of an underdog, you could be Buster Douglas, Dr. Dre or Colonel Sanders. J.K. Rowling even, in the context of writing; we’re all familiar with that story. It could be a sign to move on, create another world. It could be that you’re being impatient. Do you want your book in print or are you happy living in a kindle? Amazon basically own everything anyway, why not give them your words?! 

Get a solicitor for the contract, an editor to tell you how to write, a shiny desk by a window and the loss of creative control. 

Forget all that fluffy shenanigans and for the love of god, just write. 

Until next time. 

 

Do Good Things