Shattered Vanilla - Making it Hot!

 Shattered Vanilla

I always fear I'm sharing too much. When, in fact I think I don't share enough. Hence the photograph. I could worry you might look at the files I have open or the pages of internet I browse. The apps running. Are any of them questionable? Maybe, but if so. Let's have a dialogue. I suppose a glass of red wine later, I'm filled with confidence. Apathy, whatever. I'll hit publish on this and soon regret it. It's the fear of rejection. Slipping into obscurity. Amnesia is the fundamental destiny for us all. Having eyes not seeing, brains not thinking. Words not heard. All that pretentious bullshit that I try my utmost to avoid. We're all just so profound.

Shattered Vanilla is the third novel I'm concentrating on. I have to admit, I was dispondent after the release of the first two. Flagpole still flys, anonymously. I shoudl do more work to 'market' it. I'm afraid to Dodge 'Ram' it down peoples throats. I'm not a salesman. It's almost like living 'The Secret' I hope the Universe will organically make me visible. Sorry folks, in reality that never happens. Too many people are worried about copyright or likeness infringment. I think, if that ever became a reality to me. I'll embrace it. It means I've been seen. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to be a band wagon or a figure of controvsery, just for the sake of it. That's never crept into my wishbone mind. Ya see, you do what you can. You do everything right. As long as you don't exploit yourself or lose your dignity. Write down what you want and make it happen. I can justify my own creativity. Afterall, I created it.

I've made the conscious decision that I won't be involved in anything that doesn't help my writing. By that, I mean every second I have spare, I'll read. Read fiction. I recently finished 'Story of O' for the first time. I had seen the film, due in part for its noteriety. The book, I can imagine would be contentious in 1954. Now, it reads like a pained line skipper. Other than branding a bare cheek or stretching an arsehole. There's nothing that engaging about it. I've been going on an erotica journey of late. I read Emmanuelle; always been a fan of Just Jaeckin's adaptation. It pretty much is the book. That's far more impressive than 'O'. I'm indulging in Bret Easton Ellis at the moment 'The Rules of Attraction' I'm loving it. Not that I'm implying that's erotica. Like, I said devouring all things written. It helps. It helps with style, it helps flow. I love reading. I love writing. The two go hand in hand. It's never a struggle.

Reading theory too and books about marketing and other relative inspiration. Marketing and sales are not for me. It does though seem  you need to do it. I need to embrace it. It's my dream not to be 'discovered' but to exist how I want to. I want to self-publish, so I self-publish. Now, even if offered. I wouldn't accept a 'deal'. I promise you of that. That isn't reverse psychology. That's a fact.

I want 'Shattered Vanilla' to be a subversive 'underground' novel. Something that I want to read. I loved reading and writing 'Autumn in Georgetown'. Flagpole was more of a indulgence in a way. In what way, I'm not sure. I wanted to flood it with detail. There may have been a subtext but I'll let the reader find that. I'm truly not one of those people who blows their own trumpet. If I could, you wouldn't see me. That's also a Bill Hicks joke. Anyway, Shattered Vanilla is based off a screenplay I wrote after I finished University. 129 pages of laugable shit if I'm Frank Butcher. Still, I wrote it. I've adapted it. I've shaped it. I'll make it Shattered Vanilla. This book will act as the closing to the Dylan Nemerov trilogy. Again, you don't have to read them in order to get the idea. I'm not George Lucas. In my head, like my list. I've committed to works that I want to finish. If I was to die tomorrow. I've written the pages I want to print. Don't kill me off yet though, the list is long. After Shattered Vanilla. I'll complete 'Myriad of Selfish Acts'. After that, blah blah blah. I won't put that out into the world yet. Because I'll be true to my word and publish this one first before I put my mouth on anything new. Just know, you haven't seen the last of me yet. Perhaps, I should say, you haven't read it all from me yet. Whatever, the only thing I can hope for is improvement. If you buy/read/download or experience Flagpole. As it's my first novel, I hope you see growth from me in 'Autumn in Georgetown'. The same with Shattered Vanilla, as soon as it's finished I can only hope you're not disappointed. I obviously have no formal feedback, I post to instagram, read reviews on Amazon. Like I always say, I'm no one. No one cares about me. No one cares about you. As long as you're creating something you're happy to read/listen to/ or watch then that's all that matters. Stay yourself. Fuck everyone else!

So, in conclusion, far from bullshit. Shattered Vanilla, stands currently at 17,464 words. That equates to roughly 1 hour and nine minutes of reading time. I haven't got a target for word count. It has to be novel length, clearly. But, whenever this is finished I'll know and whatever the word count is; well, that's the word count. Pages, I don't business about. I was worried about KDP printing costs. That's pointless, if people want to read your words, they will. For that, I'm forever thankful. 

Don't get bogged down in shiny bollocks.  I could spend two hours making available 'Flagpole' in hardback but when paperback isn't enticing, then what's the point in wasting time on other formats. I'll just focus on the next one and market when I make the time.

Time to market, back in time. Huey Lewis and the news.

I'm writing it here, so it's an exclusive. This book will be finished by the end of 2021!

Shattered Vanilla - A Punk Rock Love Story.

Until next time....

Do Good Things!

Love you all, thank you so much for reading and following me thus far. I know people are reading this, which means a lot. If you want to connect, please feel free to....in my humble opinion. I'm pretty fucking cool.

Mwah x