The Journey To A Published Novel

Romance in the simple things. It may be my literary crucifixion but it's a chance that I'll have to endure. I am somewhat addicted to life but more so creativity and the journey from empty to full. It's the work put in to receive contentment. Through challenges and graft. I was playing with music again yesterday. Had a little break from writing the novel. Got down to some synth fun. Not likely to do anything with it. I just like writing lyrics. Happy Halloween one and every all! I hope it's fabulous with treats galore. I'm in the UK and all I've heard today is sweets being referred to as 'Candy'. I'm not certain when that changed. Tomorrow it will revert back to 'sweets' I'm sure. So strange how we jump on the language bandwagon. It also perplexes me how we've now, as English peeps began to pronounce 'Advertisement' as 'Ad-ver-tize-ment' making use of the Americanized emphasis on the 'TIZE' element opposed ...

Searching my mind for the memories and feelings I felt whilst away on camp and making use of those same thoughts does lead me to a dark place. I'm not sure I mean a depressive state. It's more like a character actor. I don't claim to be one, not at all. It's more I have to go back and transport myself to the memories that I know still exist. Some of which I haven't explored for many years. Well, since they happened. they do remain so vivid. It's worrying, funny and a surprise the mix of emotions that I feel when I think about everything. I think about my situation in the UK, back in 2004. I think about Uni. Everything that happened there, all of the experiences. The people, the sense of urgency. The fear. Being lost. Being alone. Not knowing if what I considered important was actually all that important. I can obviously look back now and understand that most or much of it was completely irrelevant. Why did you take yourself so seriously? Why did you react tha...

The memory of Converse being reluctantly thrown in the bin. I sacrificed their beauty for the health of my toe. It's a lasting image that I have stored in my mind. That image is below: I had to throw away my favourite pair of trainers, when  working on camp. Just before I left from the UK to go and work there. I started to suspect through the increasing pain in my big toe, on both feet no less. I may be suffering from an ingrowing toenail. I had never realistically had one before but this was starting to make me worry slightly. To avoid further pain, it was suggested that I 'pack' my toe with 'TCP' soaked cotton wool and stuff it under my nail, along the side of the toenail bed. Well, in short I did that and whilst on camp the pain grew ever worse. I started to limp and it was exacerbated as both toes were affected. It really was a painful experience. One that may have directly influenced my entire experience. I'm obviously incorporating that into the sto...

Yup, that's right. Bit the bullet. Got an Echo. Amazon are now, more than ever involved in my life. So strange how I have voluntarily welcomed a microphone into my house. I've subscribed to a company to store all my recordings and oh so many requests. That's a small price to pay, to have 50 million songs on the tip of my tongue. How wonderful! I haven't yet began to get in cars with strangers though. I won't be making use of the Uber app. So, that has been distracting me slightly. I will openly admit. I would put on an album - obviously trying that 30 day free trial for Unlimited and would be writing. The album would end and then I'd stand in the kitchen ( that's where it is, the Echo I mean ) and I'd be shuffling through songs from Brand New, New Edition, Keith Sweat, Twenty One Pilots, Billy Bragg, Knifehandchop, Drop The Lime, DJ Assault, 2 Live Crew and almost everything I could think of. I'm even trying to catch her out. 'Her' - so ...

Today and last night was a good time for writing. Made real progress. Got stuck into characters. At one stage I was angry. Angry within the story. One social situation took place and I was enraged. It was like I wanted to write or have the characters scream 'Fuck You! I won't Do What You Tell Me!'. I didn't  because well they're not my lines but they were almost in my head as I worked on that one sequence. It was a great release and worked. There's always that indecision in terms of how far you take something, do I make it completely radical and have things 'burn' or let it simmer?  For the time being I'm content with that. Inspiration comes from all over the place. I thought about situations from the past. Those mesmerizing moments of uncertainty when you're left alone for the first time with the girl you've been chatting to... appreciating her all evening and now the moment to explore each others thoughts. The inhalation at a light fille...

Productive to the point of entering the short story competition. It's a long while at the moment before it closes. I thought and considered not submitting it until closer to the time but I’ve completed it so not sure why else I'd delay in its submission. Put a lot of passion into it and research. We’ll see what comes of that. It - as I alluded to, gave me the opportunity to think about another set of characters, setting and time. So it was good to stretch myself. It’s important to me to continue to write, whether it was that short story, exploring other ideas and making a note of them but obviously and most importantly to continue to write the novel. I still like exploring the thoughts. Read, write and read as much as possible - all writing available really.   I still write on my computer. I find it distracting to write with a pen. I like the connection between my mind and the words on the paper but it’s more long winded than typing. I mean I can type relative...

I'm reading so many short stories at the moment and I understand that potentially they're condensed, so require that stark, drastic editing but the descriptions being made use of are so banal and predictable. Even the emotions that people express are so obvious. I hope I can live up to my own expectations of a good story. Some days you get that feeling of complete creativity and everything flows and then the next you get that self doubt. I start thinking too much and worrying about opinion. Should I include that? Can't mention that and so on and so on. As much as I try to write exactly how I want or how I want a novel to read. BAM! I'm smacked in the face with insecurity. Through comparison with others....you just can't do it. I don't think you should. The minute I or you start to compare yourself to literary genius you may as well give up. All you can do or at least all I can do is continue to write. I'm like an infinite chimp, the more and longer I write...