The Journey To A Published Novel

Romance in the simple things. It may be my literary crucifixion but it's a chance that I'll have to endure. I am somewhat addicted to life but more so creativity and the journey from empty to full. It's the work put in to receive contentment. Through challenges and graft. I was playing with music again yesterday. Had a little break from writing the novel. Got down to some synth fun. Not likely to do anything with it. I just like writing lyrics. Happy Halloween one and every all! I hope it's fabulous with treats galore. I'm in the UK and all I've heard today is sweets being referred to as 'Candy'. I'm not certain when that changed. Tomorrow it will revert back to 'sweets' I'm sure. So strange how we jump on the language bandwagon. It also perplexes me how we've now, as English peeps began to pronounce 'Advertisement' as 'Ad-ver-tize-ment' making use of the Americanized emphasis on the 'TIZE' element opposed ...

Searching my mind for the memories and feelings I felt whilst away on camp and making use of those same thoughts does lead me to a dark place. I'm not sure I mean a depressive state. It's more like a character actor. I don't claim to be one, not at all. It's more I have to go back and transport myself to the memories that I know still exist. Some of which I haven't explored for many years. Well, since they happened. they do remain so vivid. It's worrying, funny and a surprise the mix of emotions that I feel when I think about everything. I think about my situation in the UK, back in 2004. I think about Uni. Everything that happened there, all of the experiences. The people, the sense of urgency. The fear. Being lost. Being alone. Not knowing if what I considered important was actually all that important. I can obviously look back now and understand that most or much of it was completely irrelevant. Why did you take yourself so seriously? Why did you react tha...

The memory of Converse being reluctantly thrown in the bin. I sacrificed their beauty for the health of my toe. It's a lasting image that I have stored in my mind. That image is below: I had to throw away my favourite pair of trainers, when  working on camp. Just before I left from the UK to go and work there. I started to suspect through the increasing pain in my big toe, on both feet no less. I may be suffering from an ingrowing toenail. I had never realistically had one before but this was starting to make me worry slightly. To avoid further pain, it was suggested that I 'pack' my toe with 'TCP' soaked cotton wool and stuff it under my nail, along the side of the toenail bed. Well, in short I did that and whilst on camp the pain grew ever worse. I started to limp and it was exacerbated as both toes were affected. It really was a painful experience. One that may have directly influenced my entire experience. I'm obviously incorporating that into the sto...

Yup, that's right. Bit the bullet. Got an Echo. Amazon are now, more than ever involved in my life. So strange how I have voluntarily welcomed a microphone into my house. I've subscribed to a company to store all my recordings and oh so many requests. That's a small price to pay, to have 50 million songs on the tip of my tongue. How wonderful! I haven't yet began to get in cars with strangers though. I won't be making use of the Uber app. So, that has been distracting me slightly. I will openly admit. I would put on an album - obviously trying that 30 day free trial for Unlimited and would be writing. The album would end and then I'd stand in the kitchen ( that's where it is, the Echo I mean ) and I'd be shuffling through songs from Brand New, New Edition, Keith Sweat, Twenty One Pilots, Billy Bragg, Knifehandchop, Drop The Lime, DJ Assault, 2 Live Crew and almost everything I could think of. I'm even trying to catch her out. 'Her' - so ...

Today and last night was a good time for writing. Made real progress. Got stuck into characters. At one stage I was angry. Angry within the story. One social situation took place and I was enraged. It was like I wanted to write or have the characters scream 'Fuck You! I won't Do What You Tell Me!'. I didn't  because well they're not my lines but they were almost in my head as I worked on that one sequence. It was a great release and worked. There's always that indecision in terms of how far you take something, do I make it completely radical and have things 'burn' or let it simmer?  For the time being I'm content with that. Inspiration comes from all over the place. I thought about situations from the past. Those mesmerizing moments of uncertainty when you're left alone for the first time with the girl you've been chatting to... appreciating her all evening and now the moment to explore each others thoughts. The inhalation at a light fille...

Productive to the point of entering the short story competition. It's a long while at the moment before it closes. I thought and considered not submitting it until closer to the time but I’ve completed it so not sure why else I'd delay in its submission. Put a lot of passion into it and research. We’ll see what comes of that. It - as I alluded to, gave me the opportunity to think about another set of characters, setting and time. So it was good to stretch myself. It’s important to me to continue to write, whether it was that short story, exploring other ideas and making a note of them but obviously and most importantly to continue to write the novel. I still like exploring the thoughts. Read, write and read as much as possible - all writing available really.   I still write on my computer. I find it distracting to write with a pen. I like the connection between my mind and the words on the paper but it’s more long winded than typing. I mean I can type relative...

I'm reading so many short stories at the moment and I understand that potentially they're condensed, so require that stark, drastic editing but the descriptions being made use of are so banal and predictable. Even the emotions that people express are so obvious. I hope I can live up to my own expectations of a good story. Some days you get that feeling of complete creativity and everything flows and then the next you get that self doubt. I start thinking too much and worrying about opinion. Should I include that? Can't mention that and so on and so on. As much as I try to write exactly how I want or how I want a novel to read. BAM! I'm smacked in the face with insecurity. Through comparison with others....you just can't do it. I don't think you should. The minute I or you start to compare yourself to literary genius you may as well give up. All you can do or at least all I can do is continue to write. I'm like an infinite chimp, the more and longer I write...

I've been completing a lot of research. I have to admit recently I have concentrated only briefly on another story that I have been writing for a literary competition. I found it online and it sparked a little wonderment of inspiration. Anyway, I've finished that story. It was a 2000 limit. I'll go back over it several more times but I think I'm happy with the structure. I wanted to do a whole heap of research just to get the tone right. I think I've achieved the intention. I'll submit it shortly. Whatever, the outcome I may well share the story on whatever platforms I can  when the competition closes etc. In fact, I most certainly will. I think along with reading as much as I can, I'm also writing as much as I can. The novel is progressing very well but I wanted to change genre for about a day or two to develop this story. All done now. I felt a little guilty committing all this time to it but hopefully it'll be well received. If not, ...

There isn't really time for inaction. 'Lights, camera, Action!' If I read this aloud as I'm writing, in an accent similar to that of  Morgan Freeman or anyone with a soft delicate tone. You may well experience my realms of possibility. It could be simpler to say that when trying too hard, you ignore all those elements that are standing before you. Apparently, yesterday was World Mental Health Day. Consider me Forrest Gump 'That's all I have to say about that'! In my esoteric or even pretentious ramblings of thought. I'm not attempting to be anything but myself. Inspiration and the sensation is gives me is comparable to that of innate wonderment. Meeting someone for the first time, sharing that slight glance and quiver of a reciprocated smile. The feeling of that unspoken connection when the palm of your hands interlock perfectly through a mutual handshake. These are the simple things. The experiences I embrace. Many people assume because I'm r...

Having to do yet another cleanse. Stacks of paper still! Going through all this random collection of scribbles Much of it is being shredded. At the moment, I have Sixteen Candles in my head. May have to watch it. Such a good movie. I was never overly convinced by Samantha but the end is nice. I guess it's no Breakfast Club. It's certainly good though. 'Make a wish' longing gaze. 'It already came true!' Such a perfect choice of music too. Oh John Hughes. How we miss you! Gonna have to watch it now. Saying that I'm going to have to revisit Annie Hall too 'I'm into Leather!' I still enjoy all his neurotic and often agreeable statements and thoughts. Pretty much what Larry David has based his career on. All these ideas, I'm shredding most of them. They must have sparked something in me a while ago but they must just be bad or something. I think the stories that I've kept in my head alone in terms of the premise are by far the most import...

Having this notebook with me is - I think, really helping. I know I’ve often got my phone with me but I must admit I am relatively analogue. As you might have guessed from the vinyl, 8 tracks and utterances of VHS. In fact, I'm looking at a 8mm Cine projector. I want movie screenings to be more of an event. Requiring more effort than streaming via Netflix. I still love a bit of Netflix too so don't get me wrong. I'm not a hermit, reading books from charity shops. Although that's cool and I have nothing against that. Only the other day I found a copy of 'Into The Wild.' Good times! Yeah so with my phone, I like a few apps and make use of them on my in terms of notes but by the time I’ve unlocked it, even with my finger print and then found the folder with the app in. I’m thinking too much about where the app is and completely forget the idea, thought, line of dialogue or whatever it is that I was thinking about which is no good for anyone. At least having...

It isn't wise to necessarily read comments on many of the social media platforms. Moreover, it isn't that helpful to take 'likes' etc all that seriously. It's false encouragement. It's almost like atheism. If you don't believe in the existence of God, you can't then think the Devil real. I, like anyone require a readership but I can't allow internet based opinion to be all that directive of my path. I know which route I'm taking and that's the main thing. There are some sincere words but others are misspelt hate. Anyway, I continue to produce my daily word count. Maintaining the early morning productivity. Which does seem to be working well. I am noting down moments of dialogue and all it's inspiration. I'm a little concerned at the moment and it may well be in my haste that some of the characters are feeling, even to me a little bit weak or two dimensional at least. I'm not 'feeling' them. I need to build upon their ...

I wonder, although it’s not a wonder. I know how much choice I have in this now. Which is very little.   I feel the need – ‘the need for speed’ not only is there a need to continue because I enjoy it so much but because I have something to say.  I thought I had a message through song. That remains and bubbles inside me but this is so so much fun. The entire process is grand.  I’m maintaining the regular early morning wake ups in order to allow me more time to write. With it brings forth continued inspiration and creativity. An intense necessity to develop everything.  I found some photos the other day of my time on camp which have reminded and sparked further inclusion of elements of reality into the story. I’m not sure I can upload all of the pictures. Firstly, because I don't have the permission of the other people within the photos to upload them and secondly, I don't want to include too much detail or reference to the actual camp. It is not my ...